It's hard to believe that using "eco" to describe your sexual bent will help you get laid, or land true love, but "green" is the latest trend in niche dating.
Although staying home and getting naked with the one you love is probably as green as it gets in the dating department, eco-sensitive singles are like anyone else: They have to find that special person first.
To fill the green gap, eco dating websites are springing up, and green jargon has now expanded to include the word "ecosexual."
The term, coined by San Francisco magazine, identifies this particular anthropological subset as "an evolving breed of city dweller for whom keeping green is every bit as important in their romantic life as in their choice of household cleanser, dinner food or wall paint."
But can we really choose our mates using the same criteria as we use for our bathroom cleanser?
The thought of lonely ecosexuals cruising - on their bikes - for someone to hook up with for coffee (don't forget your helmet and reusable mug) is beyond depressing.
A quick perusal of one of the most popular international green dating sites, greenpassions.com, might confirm your worst suspicions about ecosexuals.
For the most part, the assortment seems, well, terrifyingly natural.
On one major site you could date someone who goes by the handle "Wolfeathers," and describes herself as "psychic" and with "a few extra pounds," but is not afraid to show her largish midriff wearing a witchy maxi dress in a woodland setting.
Or there's the "seeker" who resembles neither male nor female, but is gamely seeking an "eco-friendly, poly-friendly, bisexual, hippie" to date. Must love cats!
An alarming percentage describe themselves as "naturists." In other words, they like to go around wearing nothing but their own body hair.
But Boyd Cohen, a business professor at Simon Fraser University, hopes to change the image of green daters with his new website 3rdwhale.com.
"I want to challenge the stereotype of green people as being all pot-smoking hippies," he said.
The eco-lifestyle website went live at the end of April, and is the first local website to feature an exclusively green dating component.
Although there are only a handful of eager young greens on the site so far, they are an attractive assortment with at least two things in common: They want to meet potential mates, and they, well, get off on doing eco-friendly things like recycling and not driving cars.
Cohen, who offsets his carbon emissions, shops with a burlap bag and rides a bike to work, met his fiance on a regular dating website last year.
"I used a range of dating sites, none were focussed on that niche and you couldn't screen out who was green. It was my preference to meet someone who shared an interest or passion in environmental issues."
At the same time that he was constructing 3rd Whale, he said he wanted it to be "a dynamic, interesting social networking site for sustainability including dating targeted for people who care about green issues."
He decided to include the dating component.
So how many people share enough of an interest in green issues to put that first and foremost when looking for a mate?
Well, so far there are only about 28 people on the 3rd Whale site.
"We haven't had anyone go on a real date yet," said Claudia Li, 3rd Whale's dating editor.
But Li, whose green dating "vlogs" explore issues such as "Is naked dating green dating?", is confident the site will catch on.
"When you talk about urban cities like Vancouver that have a high percentage of people that care about green lifestyles, the idea of being able to find someone else who shares your own values is enticing."
Although it would be easy for environmentally selective daters to add their green living interests to any dating website profile, Li believes their niche approach will attract a different clientele.
"There is a market where people are so green it's like they're actually a different race," she enthuses. "Among these people it's almost like another country."
What is green dating?
Li, who is single and goes by the handle "green bean" online, has thought a lot about what her perfect green date might be.
"Not going to restaurants and movies," she said - although she believes it's important to support local businesses, they're high-consumption, high-carbon-footprint activities.
"My ideal green date would be if my date asked me to meet them somewhere outdoors. We'd take our bikes and meet up for a ride, maybe end up on the beach where we'd have a meal out of Tupperware containers."
"That sounds unsexy," laughs Daniel Packard, Vancouver's dating expert. "Nobody has ever fallen in love with No. 2 plastic."
A true connection between people, Packard says, "is the rarest thing, and the most sustainable thing."
Packard, who is a dating coach for men and women of all stripes, green or not, said you won't find a real connection by putting up filters - whether it's requiring someone "green" or someone who fulfils other expectations.
"A filter process like that doesn't necessarily get you what you want. At the end of the day those kind of values are on your 'bonus list'; they're not what will hold you together."
Commonalities are great, says Packard, but it's often the most unlikely people who come together.
"Pre-rejecting" people using value-based criteria, such as being 'green' can only limit your dating potential."
As a case in point he recalls his mother fixing up a blind date for family friend, Susan Page, author of If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?
The man was not her usual "wavy-haired, Christian doctor" type, but "a balding, pot-bellied Jewish potter," said Packard.
Although Page reported after the date that he was "amazing, charming and playful," she didn't plan to go out with him again because he didn't fit her image of the person she wanted to be with.
Packard's mother ordered her to give him a second chance.
She did, and they've been married for decades now.
"Sustainable, healthy, non-toxic dating isn't about being fear-based and making choices based on keeping out 'the bad,' " said Packard. "Whether it's how a person dresses, how much money they make, those are filter processes that don't really get you what you want."
He has seen more than one unlikely couple hook up at his popular FlirtFest events.
Emily Jubenvill, 22, who was recently voted the greenest person in Canada, understands how putting your green needs first might turn off a potential love-interest.
But it's important enough to her that she's got a profile posted on the 3rd Whale dating site. Although she hasn't struck romantic gold yet, she's gone for coffee with another greenie she met on the site "just to talk."
Jubenvill is used to dealing with the stereotyping that comes along with her green interests (along with being Canada's greenest person, she is now a top candidate in 3rd Whale's "greenest person on the planet" contest). "I get called a hippie all the time," says Jubenvill, "but that's not what it's about."
Jubenvill recently came out of a relationship with someone who she calls "anti-green."
His lack of interest in the environment was stressful, said Jubenvill. "It's tiring always having to stand up for your beliefs and back it up," she said.
Jubenvill, who worm composts in her apartment, works as a sustainability adviser for a Bioenergy firm and spends weekends community gardening, wouldn't date an "anti-green" again.
She'd love a man who planned a no-impact picnic, she said, or knew the carbon footprint of the date.
However, her ideal mate doesn't have to be as environmentally aware as she is - just willing to learn. "If they weren't totally green but were open to making changes, sure, I'd date them," she said.
Li takes a firmer stand - and although she hasn't bagged a boyfriend on 3rd Whale yet, she's totally comfortable with her green "filters."
Her green knight will have to slay a few environmental dragons to sweep her off her feet.
"I would want my date to prove to me that he's really green."
In other words, don't show up in an SUV, don't order a whopping steak at dinner and don't, say, fly her to Paris for the weekend. Unless you plan to carbon-offset the flight of course.
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