"I've slept with three guys in two weeks," is how one Melbourne-based graphic designer who we'll call Nadine describes the current state of her rampaging sex life. When I ask her how she finds time to meet all these men (let alone go on all these dates) she responds with a twinkle in her eye and two simple words: "Adult Matchmaker".
And it's not only my friend that's reaping the benefits. "Thirty per cent of Female Online Daters Have Sex on the First Date," bellowed headlines when research that was carried out by Sexuality Research and Social Policy emerged, stating that most women admitted they go online simply to look for one thing: a one night stand. (I can hear the blokes chanting a 'woohoo!')
When I asked Nadine what makes her trust these men without so much as a handshake or an exchange of phone numbers, she exclaims that by speaking to them via email for a lengthy period of time before they meet exhilarates and heightens the intimacy and trust between them.
"Even way before we meet, we already feel a bond and a connection. So I think, 'why not' go for it when we eventually do?" she quips. "And if there's no connection when we meet, at least I don't have to eat alone!" ...
With the advent of online dating, the avalanche of websites it offers to cater to every sexual whim and the steamy internet assignations that follow, it seems that while the ubiquitous stigma has left the online world, it's now introduced a whole new foray into the fold: one mass orgy.
With inhibitions out the window, it seems common sense has fled too in the face of an orgasm, with 77 per cent of these women not using protection during the sexual encounters. (Alarming, isn't it?)
Yet despite the obvious pitfalls, (people faking their identity, cheaters, liars and losers to name a few), many are claiming that it's a sure-fire way of getting shag, or at least a free coffee ...
Q: Would you shag someone you meet online?
Internet dating: the only alternative?
A bunch of ASK SAM readers have recently complained over the lack of ability to meet someone in the usual ways, (bar, nightclub, through friends, at the supermarket with a banana in their trolley...), with blogger Peter lamenting that the women he meets at bars and clubs are "highly aggressive in making sure they 'get a man'" which for him is a complete turn off. (I know some of you are questioning his grounds, but I imagine he's referring to the types of women who bombard you with talk of marriage and kids on the first date...) Hence he's wondering if his only alternative is to start staying in to find a date online.
Still, he isn't so sure he's going to find the girl of his "dreams" in a cyber chat room. "It just seems a bit cold-blooded," he writes to me, "although I'll be damned if I know how else to meet a nice girl. All my girl friends are taken, and my male friends are all married or seem doomed to a life of celibacy."
Perhaps he should team up with another ASK SAM reader; a 28-year-old female who says she has long blonde hair, is thin, smart and has a great job. Her problem? Getting any useful male attention.
"While I do get looks from men, none of them approach me or my friends," she writes to me in an email. "We're not looking desperate either, we're just catching up and we do make eye contact with some guys but they don't come up to us. When we do come up to them they just seem so UNINTERESTED."
While I often find myself in a similar conundrum, (the other night my friend and I decided to count the number of men who would come up and talk to us during the night with the result being an unsurprising ZERO), perhaps these days the only way people really do know how to build rapport is via their fingers. After all it's pretty simply to come up with what are seemingly quick-witted responses, (you have time to think, Google and re-write your responses as many times as you like); you can bring up titillating subject matter without any apprehensions and you can make flirty nuances without getting a red face or fearing rejection.
Can internet dating really work?
If you still aren't a believer, take this saccharine sweet story, which is enough to get anyone jumping online in favour of speed dating tonight ...
"I was 17 - we met in a chat room and I didn't really know that he was for real. My instinct was working alright I suppose. We had only talked for a couple of hours, and it was New Years Eve and I didn't really want to go to the usual parties so he asked me to come up and meet him in Sydney instead. We kissed under the bridge fireworks, stayed together all the next day, usual soppy stuff. We've been together since."
But she adds a warning to those who seem to fall too quickly: "I don't think anyone falls in love online - I think the conversation should be the hook, not the sinker. If you think you are in love with an online persona, the risk of them fooling you is much higher..."
What do you think? Is online dating the answer? Or is there a better way to meet people in the modern dating game? Share your thoughts and advice for our readers.
Have a fabulous weekend and happy dating!
Internet Dating & Online Dating
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