The Club for millionaire and wealthy people

Every day I'm emailed tons of tips and articles. Every day I read the 200+ new posts in the Don Juan Discussion Forum. Every day I surf the net looking for the latest, greatest relationship info. Every day I read books and magazines about dating, relationships, and women.

I see it all. The basic. The advanced. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Man, do I see a lot of the ugly!

Undoubtedly, the most common tip I see, whether it's in an article written by some famous relationship guru, or a post to a discussion group by some 15-year old freshman... is JUST BE YOURSELF.

If sheer volume were any indication of quality, then this tip would surely be in the Hall of Fame.

Unfortunately, volume is no indication of quality when it comes to relationship advice. In fact, much of the time it's just the opposite. "Just Be Yourself" is the one tip I'll never use. Not at the web site. Not in the newsletter. Not anywhere.

Just be yourself (abbreviated JBY from now on) is a dangerous or, at the very least, counter-productive tip for a number of reasons.

One - JBY is the advice you're most likely to receive from someone who has no clue about how women, dating, and relationships work.

It doesn't matter if that person is male or female, young or old, single or married -- it's the stock relationship answer when one doesn't know or can't think of anything else to say... but doesn't want to seem as clueless as he/she actually is.

Ask your buddy what women want, or your mother, or your minister, or Dr. Expert. They'll probably hit you with some version of JBY. Why? Not because it's the correct answer, but because they themselves have no idea what women want.

But they have to say something, right? And besides, they've been hearing JBY for their entire lives. It must be the right answer. How could something be so prevalent, and be wrong?

As a side benefit, JBY is also an answer which allows the advice-giver to feel a sense of smugness or superiority... as if simply seeking relationship advice in the first place is somehow indicative of lower intelligence or underdeveloped social skills. And oh how people like to feel smug.

But what happens if you press them a little, ask for more details? Tell them that you've been "just being yourself" your entire life and it's pretty much gotten you nowhere at all with women. In fact, you haven't even had a date in 2 years.

What about that?

At this point they'll probably shovel you the stock follow-up answer - "You just have to be patient and eventually you'll meet someone who's right for you."

Oh, and don't forget, "And if it doesn't work out between you and her, than it wasn't meant to be."

Be yourself. Patience. Faith. That's about the extent of the advice you're likely to receive.

I consider this to be utterly Ridiculous !!

What kind of advice or help is this to a person who's been struggling with women his whole life? A person who goes on one date every 6 months... and never gets a second date? A person who's lonely, depressed, unhappy? A person who's obviously doing something wrong but has no idea what it might be?

Rather than simply JBYing, and waiting patiently, and having faith, perhaps it would be more beneficial if the troubled person would decide to Take Charge and actively create the kind of life he wants. To learn the mistakes he's been making in the past and how to correct this in the future. To learn the correct attitudes, behaviors, and thoughts which will enable him to attract and keep the woman or women he wants.

This would be useful advice!

But then we'd run into another problem.

You see, the second major reason that JBY is so common and a potentially damaging piece of advice is that it gives the person in need an EXCUSE for not doing anything. A convenient excuse, validated by others (after all he asked), for continuing to do what he's always done. A convenient excuse to do only what he wants to do, or what feels comfortable for him.

A convenient excuse to sit on the couch every evening drinking beer and watching TV... because, after all, he's the kind of guy who likes to sit on the couch, drink beer, and watch TV.

You see being a Don Juan is not about being yourself. And it's certainly not about pretending to be someone that you're not. It's about becoming the person that you want to be. It's about self-improvement and reaching your full potential. It's about feeling good, being happy, and learning new things.

Time and time again I've gotten emails from people telling me how the information at SoSuave.com has changed their lives for the better. How they now understand "the game" better, and how their social lives have dramatically improved as a result.

Yet, get this, when they tell their friends about the site, about all the cool information there, and how it changed their lives... their friends are not the least bit interested.

Or their friends may even think the whole idea of "learning" how to act around women is ridiculous and try to make them feel bad for even suggesting such a thing.

The friends will then preach JBY to the person, and try to convince the person that he doesn't need "tricks and gimmicks" to do well with women.

These oh-so-wise friends are the same ones who cower in a corner when out at a bar. The same friends who spend most of their time surfing the net or playing computer games. The same friends who insist that you should buy flowers, write love notes, be "friends" first, take her to the most expensive restaurant in town, tell her you love her (on the first date), etc.

In other words, these friends don't have a clue, yet have the audacity to preach JBY to those who are trying to improve themselves and understand what really works.

Talk to them about challenge, body language, confusion, desperation, confidence, conversational strategies, or any of the other Basic Stuff at the site, and watch as their eyes glaze over like a deer caught in headlights.

Are you actually going to take advice from these people?

Why are they like this? Why can't they see that JBYing is not working for them? Why can't they understand that simply learning and implementing a few simple "tactics" could dramatically improve their lives?

Because they're lazy !!

Becoming a Don Juan is about self-improvement. And self-improvement often times involves work. Take a look at all the info at SoSuave.com. It would take WEEKS just to read it all. Then you have to commit it to memory. Then implement and practice. This takes time and effort.

Make no mistake about it... you're not going to go from a Non Juan to a Don Juan over night.

Do you think that Michael Jordan became the greatest basketball player in history by JBYing? When he failed to make the varsity team in High School, do you think he went home and said, "Oh well. I guess I'm just not much of a basketball player. But I'm sure there must be something else I can do."?

I don't think so. He grabbed the freakin ball, and practiced, and practiced, and practiced.

What about women? Do you think that they subscribe to the JBY model of dating? You tell me.

They spend hours working on their hair, their makeup, their skin, and everything else imaginable before going out. They spend untold fortunes on clothes, shoes, accessories, diet pills, and anything else they can find to make themselves more attractive.

And have you ever read Cosmo, Glamour, or any of the other women's magazines on the stand? Just look at the covers.

20 Ways to Make Him Fall in Love with You... Instantly
Is Your Man a Cheater? Take Our Test and Find Out
Bedroom Tactics to Rock His World

You see women have been studying "us" since they were old enough to read. When we're out burning ants, playing ball, or watching cartoons, they're pouring over the latest edition of Seventeen and discovering "New Kissing Techniques that Will Leave Him Drooling."

They're having slumber parties, giggling, and professing the merits of playing hard to get, not returning phone calls, flirting strategies, not looking desperate, body language, or whatever. They're learning the "game" and how to play it... and very very well.

We're busy JBYing... and they're researching, studying, and practicing. Is it any wonder that in most relationships the woman is in complete control? Is it any wonder that most guys, when they do occasionally get a date, make complete fools of themselves?

Is it any wonder that YOU'RE having so much trouble with women?

I think not. In fact, I think being an "idiot" is the norm for men. I think most guys are completely clueless.

And that's why those of you smart enough to seek out this site are destined for greatness.

Those of you who visit the site regularly, those of you who study and practice, those of you who've dedicated yourselves to learning and improving, should be commended. You are in the minority. And if you keep at it, you will reap the rewards.

And, oh man, how sweet the rewards !!!

 

Myth #1: Being an Attractive Man Is Always About Appealing to What Women Say They Want.

If you are one of those vehement supporters of this myth, you should get a noose and hang yourself – you'll be better off.

Trying to get a woman to like you by attempting to live up to her ideal preferences in a man is a one way ticket to transforming your ego into a proverbial punching bag. Women prefer tall dark handsome rich men, packing dogs with garden hose length and telephone pole girth.

Oh, furthermore, if you don't want to fall short of their expectations you better be lumbered with chiseled abs and a copious bubble butt. If your rump isn't up to par, you could always get silicon butt cheek implants. But forewarning: Your black-and-blue rear will be so sore that you won't be able to sit down for a month.

As those of you know who have been reading my newsletters and have read my book: Attraction is not about what a woman says she wants. If attraction was about what women say they prefer, then I wouldn't know short, bald, fat, and broke guys experiencing massive success with women. But I do.

Attraction, contrary to this, is about you creating the emotion inside women of wanting, chasing, and reaching for more of you. Although my short, bald, fat and broke Casanova buddies don't fill the quota of the "ideal man," they do manage to generate the emotion inside women of wanting, chasing, and reaching for more of them. And this, my friend, is why they are massively successful with women.

The art of creating this emotion in women is what I call PRIZING. My book is chockfull of different techniques for PRIZING women, some of which are Open Loops, Tension Loops, Challenging & Qualifying, and Meta-Frames.

One of the best things you can do to set the groundwork for PRIZING women is to make them strive to fill the quota of your ideal female.

So, when you're out with a woman, don't behave like a spineless little worm, asking her questions such as: "How am I doing with you?" Instead, when she behaves in ways that go against your standards and expectations of women, let her know that she is losing points with you – and losing points quickly!

Myth #2: If a Woman Is of Higher Value Than You, She Is Not Allowed to Be Attracted to You.

This one actually rings some truth. Let me explain.

If you see a woman and immediately, in your mind, consecrate her as a Goddess amongst Goddesses you must bow down to, you are figuratively butt ramming yourself, because you are setting the frame that she is the Prize, not you. As those of you who have read my book know, women do not feel attraction for men who are not the PRIZE.

It is fine to view a woman you have just met as a Goddess amongst Goddesses, as long as you perceive yourself as a God amongst Gods and abstain from bowing down to her.

What is the lesson to be learned? Objective value doesn't exist, only perceived value does.

Although women are usually not attracted to men of lesser value than themselves, you can do a lot to increase your value.

Whenever interacting with a woman, a Meta-Frame – or underlying meaning – is established, determining your value in relation to hers. When you allow a woman's perceived value to intimidate you, or make you feel of lesser value than her, you are unknowingly establishing the Meta-Frame that she is the PRIZE, not you.

So the key is to stop fretting about some aspect of her being of higher value than some aspect of you, plundering you of your self-esteem. When interacting with a woman, if you ever feel ugly to her beauty or pedestrian to her sophistication or like a retarded little spaz to her sense of cool...or whatever, change your focus of attention. See the bigger picture.

Realize that when first meeting a woman we paint a picture in our mind of who we think she is, based on a few aspects we observe about her. This picture usually ends up being way off base. Learn to take control of your perceptions:

If you feel intimidated by her beauty, imagine what she looks like in the morning without her makeup; if her sophistication renders you tongue-tied, consider that she is putting on an act to impress you; if you start worrying about how much older you are than her, imagine how much worse she's going to look when she's your age... and so on.

Myth #3: If You Want to Attract Women, You Have to Act Like You Enjoy and Are Interested in the Things That They Enjoy.

This pathetic little myth is really a product of the collective dating advice for men in self-help books for sale at a bookstore near you, touting men to develop the personality of a compliant woman. This myth couldn't be further from the truth. Women are attracted to men, not little puppy dogs.

Hypothetically speaking, let's say you are dating a girl who has a thing for musical kitsch: think Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera. You, however, despise this kind of music and would prefer the sound of nails on a chalkboard to this crap. Although counterintuitive, pretending to like something that you don't genuinely like is very unattractive to women.

Likewise, having a willingness to express what you hate can redound in women finding you very attractive.

Exception, of course, do exist. For example, specific activities have been deemed by our culture as having a high social value. You might, for example, prefer reading comic books over participating in these activities. There could be consequences, however, to not participating in them. In one of my upcoming products, I touch on these activities. I will probably publish a newsletter in the near future on what these activities are.

I am not suggesting that you jettison everything a woman is into that you are not. Doing this will turn you into a creepy control freak and you will probably end up becoming a very unhappy, boring person.

Only being around people who have the same interests and tastes as you, will stifle your growth as a human being – diversity is good. I personally love to be around people that introduce me to things I don't know a lot about. This is how I develop new interests and grow as a human being.

My gripe is with men faking an interest in something as a means to get someone to like them. Doing this is really handing your balls over on a platter to the other person. Don't do this. Don't give away your power. It is one of the most unattractive qualities you can possess.

Myth #4: Women Don't Like Sex and Will Only Sleep with You After You Go Through Great Lengths Courting Them.

This one really makes my skin crawl. My life experience keeps reaffirming that beyond the shadow of a doubt this myth doesn't even contain a smattering of truth. Women love sex and can be as aggressive as men when it come to obtaining it.

If you doubt this, make some female friends who are not interested in you. That way they won't be concerned with how you judge them, allowing them to shed their ladylike pretenses and talk candidly about their sexuality.

Warning: This lurid peek into the female sexual psyche might frighten you – it isn't for the faint of heart. What you will find is that women are as sexual as men... if not more. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if these women told you about how much fun quickies, one-night-stands, and meaningless sex can be.

Many women hold off on sleeping with men because they lest being judged as sluts. It can be quite powerful to tease women about acting sexually forward or aggressive towards you. Conveying to a woman you've just met your genuine concern about her being a slut, however, will ensue in a very lonely night.

Most men I know who are unbelievable at quickly getting women into bed have a knack for making women feel comfortable expressing their sexual habits and promiscuity (Note: This is, of course, in the context of women you've just met. You probably wouldn't want to encourage this kind of promiscuity in your wife or girlfriend).

Myth #5: If You Aren't Currently Good with Women You Probably Aren't Going to Get Any Better.

Simply not true. I don't believe this myth for a second.

Over the years I have seen many hopeless sad-sack losers who no one believed in, transform themselves into some of the most skilled ladies men I have ever seen. In many cases these guys ended up more skilled with women than natural ladies men. This is probably because they had a burning desire to get a foothold on this area of their life.

This self sabotaging myth is disseminated primarily by shrinks, guys who've had little success with women, and ladies men.

I know a few guys who had their psychiatrists tell them that if they weren't good with women, they probably weren't going to get any better. And that they would be better off compromising by settling for a woman they weren't really attracted to. One of these guys stopped seeing his therapist and is now doing fantastic with women. He gets a gold star for firing the bastard.

Some guys down on their success with women will try to feed you all sorts of negative rhetoric, such as: "if you are not already successful with women, you are not going to get any better." These guys will infect your mind. Avoid them like the plague.

Some ladies men will try to mystify their abilities by making you think that they are blessed with some unattainable God-given talent. Often times this is an attempt to exalt their abilities at the expense of your self-esteem. Don't take that crap. You're better than that.

All of the disseminators of this myth are thought viruses that will infect your mind, sabotaging your self-esteem and future opportunities with women. If you currently have any of these people in your life, KICK 'EM TO THE CURB.

It is an understatement to say that I believe in you; I am convinced that you can succeed with women.

I have met and taught men of all walks of life who have turned their lives around with women. No matter what your current level of success with women is, I know you strive to get to a higher level. Otherwise, you wouldn't be reading this. I know you are capable of achieving your goals with women and I am going to help you get there.

And if you haven't already picked up a copy of my book, do so. It's not written for losers looking to cope with their unfortunate situation. It's written for winners: People who are ready to take the bull by the horns and start achieving and living the success they dream about. At the end of the day, $39.95 is a small price to pay to be fully equipped with the tools you need to start experiencing massive success with women. So if you haven't already picked up my book, do so now.